Why you won’t see a ring on my finger.

It seems everyone is getting married and engaged these days.  I mean, there were over 6 engagements on my timeline on Christmas, and another 4 on Valentines day. ♥ You saw it. Really? come on guys and gals; where’s the originality? These people are barely twenty-somethings who still live off their parents.  Have they even lived? Do they even truly know who they are and where they want to go?

When you grow up, you become a different better person.  You appreciate different values and characteristics of yourself and of others.  We are small people compared to this world.  One year ago, I went to France for a short vacation.  It ended up being more than that.  I made life-long friends. I saw things I had never seen before. Castles; they really exist! From hundreds of years ago, nonetheless! I experienced a different culture and different values.  The way of life and the way of living is extremely different.

If I never had the opportunity to take this trip, I’d still be a small-mided person. Traveling really opens your eyes to see how little you are in this place. The things you experience are more than getting a brand new car on your 16th birthday; graduating from your private school; taking 4 or 5 years to graduate from an SEC school.  Those things are not living.  What have you experienced before deciding to get engaged? You went to school. Had a few jobs.  Worked at a restaurant where you couldn’t take time off of your shitty job to take a trip. “No, I’m sorry, I can’t go Barcelona with you in July.  I have work at Applebee’s.” or “Nope, I don’t have enough money to check out some of the oldest landmarks in the world.”

I’m turning 25 this year, and there is no way in hell I am ready to marry.  No, I am not bitter that my boyfriend hasn’t proposed to me. I have goals I want to reach for myself. I want to travel more, I want to become a Master on a particular subject so I can be a woman of international communications.  Falling in love happens. Getting married is a choice. And staying in a crappy relationship is a choice, too. I have little patience for my friends who put up with crappy relationship. I don’t want to hear about it, and I’m more than likely going to call you an idiot for making a terrible decision to give a terrible person the time of day.  And if it makes you sad, I really don’t feel bad for you, because that was your fault. Marriage should not be an ultimatum; it should not be a way to mend a broken relationship, or justify a child. Get married to someone who makes you happy; who supports you; who you don’t question; who doesn’t question you. Who you can spend the entirety of your life with; you can travel the world with.

I do not want a ring on my finger right now.  I believe that I have found “the one” but I do not need to marry him as soon as possible.  I still have a lot of living and learning to do.  If I marry now, will I be able to accomplish things that aren’t even on my list yet? I know for a fact, that I will be a different person at 40 than I was at 30.   I learn personal characteristics from my travels and interactions with people of different cultures and ideals.  People who marry so young don’t even realize what they’re missing out on.  I get asked how I can travel all the time, and the answer is simple: I keep in touch with everyone I meet, and a job is not a number one priority; my personal growth and experiences are. Living here in the south, it is a race and competition; who can have the biggest wedding, the heaviest ring? I’m all about where can I travel to next?

Those young folks getting married seem to have already reached their highest goals. They are ready to “settle down.” Those are the words I hear most often when people get married. Settling down; no travels? no furthering an education? no wanting a better job? no wanting to know more about life outside an environment that believes “the south will rise again”? Only job is to recreate? yikes.  Count me out.

I’ll marry my travels, but I don’t need a ring for it.



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